Weight and Body Image, and the real ‘picture’

In the past week, I have got a few anonymous asks on Tumblr, asking how I stay thin etc.  

It’s not that I’m offended by these posts, but here’s the truth - I don’t stay thin.   I am not super thin day to day, I do not often have a huge thigh gap, prominent hips, thin arms and a flat stomach. I am not your thinspo. Nor should anyone be. There are a lot of complicated circumstances that I would 1000% rather keep to myself, and not share on the Internet. But on the other hand, I don’t want to sit here and give you the wrong impression of me.

I’m sure anybody who has followed me for a while knows how angry I get when people are put down because of their weight, or made to feel like their body shape is inferior to somebody else’s. Well, part of the reason for this is because of how I feel about myself. I am working through some problems, and my weight goes up and down so much (mostly up). Unfortunately for me, this means that I have barely any confidence left in how I look. The only time I’ve felt good about myself was quite a few years ago now, and this is the time you see in [some of] my pictures. 

The only thing that makes me feel a little better, is expressing myself through my make-up and clothes. It gives me something to be confident about.

I never, ever want anybody to feel bad about themselves, or like they should be ashamed or disgusted with how they look (this applies to ALL body types - super skinny to super curvy) because I know how these type of feelings can take your life away from you. 

So, you may see the pictures of me online, and think that’s how I look all of the time. But it’s not. It’s how I look when I build up the confidence to take a picture of myself and leave the house (a rare occurrence!) . It’s how I look when I have battled against every single thought that goes through my head telling me to do things that I know are bad for me. I have considered deleting some of my full body pictures, because all I do is pick myself apart, but all of your lovely comments swayed me. So thank you all so much for that <3

Remember that pictures are not always an accurate representation of somebody’s day to day life, they are carefully selected segments. And rather than comparing, appreciate yourself for the amazing person you are. Whether you’re 90 or 250lbs, it doesn’t matter, you are beautiful. And anybody who says otherwise isn’t worth listening to in the first place. The only person you should ever change for is you.